Hypocrisy of Champions

Recently I was staying at a friend’s house in Florida, and she wanted to make me a Key Lime Pie before I left–“for that authentic Florida experience.” Hey, pie? Hook me up. Problem was, we were going to be out all day, and Key Lime pie has to chill a while after it bakes. So there wasn’t time to make one for dinner.

“No prob,” I said, “just make it tonight and we’ll eat it for breakfast.”

You’d have thought I’d suggested we all eat breakfast in the nude. “PIE for BREAKFAST??” “Are we ALLOWED?” Everyone eyed each other excitedly, like a bunch of young teens getting ready to joyride a car for the first time. Clearly, the idea was dangerous…and thrilling.

My question is, WHY? Where did this breakfast hypocrisy come from? Take the basic same ingredients as cake–flour, eggs, butter, milk–and fry them in a pan, then drench them in sugar syrup, and it’s perfectly acceptable: ah, good ol’ pancakes. Just like grandma used to make. But offer someone a piece of cake? “Oh, gosh, no, I can’t eat dessert for breakfast.” (Unspoken: There are RULES.) Example two: take chocolate batter, add chocolate chips, and pour it into a muffin tin–voila! Breakfast. Same ingredients in cake shape: oh, no no no no. Dessert.

I could go on and on. Don’t even get me started on sugar cereal with marshmallows. Or sticky buns. If you think of it, pie’s way healthier–at least it has some fruit! (OK, maybe not Key Lime so much, with its quarter cup of lime juice, but hey. You get the idea.) Other cultures, like the Japanese, with their fish and veggies, or Middle Easterners with veggies and yogurt, must think we’re insane.

I say, let’s look at this logically. If breakfast is the most important meal of the day, then quit with the sugar and have something truly nutritious, like spaghetti, as your wake-up meal. Mmm. Spaghetti. But if all bets are off and sugar’s the go-to morning perk-me-up, then let’s drop the hypocrisy. Have a cupcake. Put bacon on the side. Or a slice of Key Lime Pie.

And then go for a good, brisk 4-mile walk.

How ’bout you? Are you with me in the cause? What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever had for breakfast? What’s one popular breakfast food you don’t understand? Would you join me for a slice of pie at 7:30 am?

2 thoughts on “Hypocrisy of Champions

  1. I might even get up before my normal 8 am hour to have a piece of pie! And pizza can be nice for breakfast, too.

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