Do Bosom Buddies Require Bosoms?

Lopez ferry dock

It took me a few months to meet folks when we first moved to Lopez Island, but a year later I looked around and found myself part of several groups. I have people to write with, people to meditate with, people to sing with, and people to hike & bike & paddle kayaks with. And that’s just here on this little isle. When I go back to visit my old life in “America” (what we Lopezians call the mainland), I have my old book group to catch up with, old neighbors to potluck with, old colleagues to meet for walks or tea.

And then there’s facebook and email. And my annual get-together with my three besties from high school.

Source: shanalogic.com via Gretchen on Pinterest

Interesting fact: 85% of these interactions are with other women. Yes, I make music with men, and share food and thoughtful silence with them. But when I make dates that involve TALKING? It’s all gals.

See, this is the kind of thing we gals need each other to discuss, right? (courtesy    )

See, this is the kind of thing we gals need each other to discuss, right? (courtesy someecards.com, Pinterest)

This got me thinking of the importance of friends in my life, vs. my husband’s.  He has a handful of very close friends from as far back as college (which for him is pretty far back, since he’s a Boomer). None of them even live in Washington State. He stays in touch through sporadic email. Phonecalls? Maybe once a year. Visits? Hey, if we’re passing through…But, encouraging as he is of my annual Girlfriend Pilgrimage, he has no counterpart to that, and doesn’t seem to need one.

How typical is this? Are we women conditioned to need each other’s company, or do we condition ourselves? Perhaps we’re hard-wired that way? I’m sure there are tons of sociological studies on this, but I’m more interested in anecdotal responses.

Guys have buddies. Women have friends. Guys fish or hunt or play poker or build stuff together. Women talk. Is this a complete stereotype, or is there something to it?

Gals–does this hold true for you? Guys–what say you?

(I know–men don’t read blogs, so I’ll probably never know what you think. So, women–ask your guy friends/spouses/whatevers. Then get back to me.)

5 thoughts on “Do Bosom Buddies Require Bosoms?

  1. One of the greatest and unexpected bonuses I have found in living on Lopez Island is having the company of the warm, thoughtful, smart, funny, sensitive, sensational women who live here. Yes, we all have our “circles,” I think. Glory hallelujah!

  2. I find I’m weird for a woman. I’m more like your husband. I’m trying to change just a bit but I have a long way to go. I have friends that I’ll go the extra mile for but it doesn’t mean I want to talk to them every day. Sometimes its nice to talk to other people and sometimes it just makes me feel claustrophobic because it means there are a lot of expectations. I don’t like expectations, which makes me a very lonely person if left to my own devices.

    • I rather admire that. I don’t think being social is a virtue; it’s really more of a lucky proclivity. Lucky as in, you don’t suffer loneliness often. But being left on one’s own can yield much richer results, creatively speaking, which being social often interferes with.

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