It took me a few months to meet folks when we first moved to Lopez Island, but a year later I looked around and found myself part of several groups. I have people to write with, people to meditate with, people to sing with, and people to hike & bike & paddle kayaks with. And that’s just here on this little isle. When I go back to visit my old life in “America” (what we Lopezians call the mainland), I have my old book group to catch up with, old neighbors to potluck with, old colleagues to meet for walks or tea.
And then there’s facebook and email. And my annual get-together with my three besties from high school.
Interesting fact: 85% of these interactions are with other women. Yes, I make music with men, and share food and thoughtful silence with them. But when I make dates that involve TALKING? It’s all gals.
This got me thinking of the importance of friends in my life, vs. my husband’s. He has a handful of very close friends from as far back as college (which for him is pretty far back, since he’s a Boomer). None of them even live in Washington State. He stays in touch through sporadic email. Phonecalls? Maybe once a year. Visits? Hey, if we’re passing through…But, encouraging as he is of my annual Girlfriend Pilgrimage, he has no counterpart to that, and doesn’t seem to need one.
How typical is this? Are we women conditioned to need each other’s company, or do we condition ourselves? Perhaps we’re hard-wired that way? I’m sure there are tons of sociological studies on this, but I’m more interested in anecdotal responses.
Guys have buddies. Women have friends. Guys fish or hunt or play poker or build stuff together. Women talk. Is this a complete stereotype, or is there something to it?
Gals–does this hold true for you? Guys–what say you?
(I know–men don’t read blogs, so I’ll probably never know what you think. So, women–ask your guy friends/spouses/whatevers. Then get back to me.)