Maya here.

To quote my hooman, Gretchen: shed happens.

Now, Gretchen seems a little frustrated with me these days…keeps muttering stuff like, “Omigod, MORE fur?!!” and “Why NOW? You’re just gonna grow this fluff right back next month!”

But I think the real reason she’s so uptight is, she NEVER sheds. That hooman of mine has had exactly TWO “haircuts” (what hoomans call shedding) in her entire life. She told me that herself.

She got her first one when she was 15 (that’s 2 in dog years).

She kept the same “look” for the next ten years, slowly letting her fur–I mean hair–grow long again.

Then, ten years after her first shed, she shed just the top–I mean, got it cut. She calls this her “bangs.”

For the next 35 years, Gretchen only shed the teensiest bits of fur. Like this:

But NOW, 35 years (that’s 5, in dog!) after shedding cutting her “bangs,” Gretchen’s decided to stop even THAT amount of shedding. She’s letting her top fur grow out.

It ain’t pretty.

What I want to know is, why’s she all hot and bothered about MY fur when it takes her 35 years to make up her mind to deal with her own?

Hmph.

I guess she’s just jealous. Yep–that must be it. Poor thing.